The only mortal instruments I've known
by elena.anfimov
Summary: Clary si the average girl that likes to get along with everybody. While being in the centre of the attention with her best friend, Izzy, doesn't bother her she doesn't reject a quiet time out with her best - boy - friend Simon. But when one natural repulsion for this one ,,golden boy,, makes her social life hard, what is she going to do?
1. If I can't say no

I was living only through my art. Nothing seemed interesting enough to keep away from my sketchbook. I wasn't an outcast though. I had my best friend Simon always by my side to remind me that there was technology and there was always an Isabell ready to show me into a party. I was having the best of the both worlds. One thing that wasn't one of my interests was dating. I never cared about boys. I saw what dating could do and I didn't want to lose my mind over a silly high school crush. Walking in the schools parking lot, I could see all the different types of boys. There were the geeks, the one that Simon loved to hang out when I wasn't feeling like it; a few steps away, there were the skater boys. They were very athletic in a way, but their large clothes weren't showing it. On the other hand, there were the gym rats that would do everything to show their muscles. A few groups away, there were the kings of the school, alongside their queens who, by the way, could have been describes more likely as sluts. And there was me, a small redhead, quiet, and looking rather faded with my denim clothes. I was friend with everybody. Once I actually tried skateboarding but quickly decided that that just wasn't my thing. I liked to let Izzy play dress up with me when it came to parties but mostly I preferred being comfy.

I turned my back when I heard Izzy's voice calling me. I could hear her high heels, that was how I knew she was approaching me.

-Morning, Izzy. What's up?

-Everything is good. It is Friday, my sacred day after all.

-Yeah, I know. So, what are your plans for afterschool?

-Don't tell me you already forgot!

-Forget what?

That was the moment when the tall, blond guy interrupted us. His eyes locked with mine for a second, than passed onto Izzy. I assured that he saw my indifference and a little of my dsgust for him alongside.

-Izzy, you are coming to my party tonight, right?

-Yeah, I am bringing Clary too.

-I never agreed to that.

-Yes you did. You just forgot. I posed for your drawing, silly.

-Oh, yeah, right.

Jace looked at me with an amused look in his eyes. I was always invited to every single party because, surprisingly, I was kind of fun being around after a few beers. Still, I never went to one of his parties only because I despised him in every way somebody could. Actually, I hated him for everything everybody loved about him. I don't know how I was the only one seeing through the illusion he made. It was like everybody was bewitched by his looks, which I found imperfect anyway. His teeth weren't straight, his skin wasn't perfectly smooth, his hair looked messy all the time. He was too tall and too thin, which for me looked funny. I wasn't just feeling it.

-Oh, it is going to be a first time. You never came to my parties although I made sure that you had an invitation for every single one. I heard you are pretty fun after you forget about your little sketchbook.

I just rolled my eyes and turn my back but he grabbed my wrist:

-Hey, where are you going? I was talking to you.

-And you just finished.

Izzy put her hand on his arm, reminding him to let me go.

-Whatever. See ya, Red, Izzy.

After he took some distance, she asked me quietly:

-What do you have with him? I mean, I never saw him doing something bad to you.

-I know. It is just natural repulsion. Can't blame me for that. It happens.

-Yeah, but still, do you have to hate the most popular guy from this school? I mean, I know you have a thing for Simon but still…

-I don't have a thing for Simon just as I don't have a thing for you.

-I wouldn't mind, you know I like playing both sides sometimes, she said while looking over at Maya, one of the geeky girl we used to hang out once in a while.

\- You know what I mean. So just stop being so dramatic about it. C'mon. We are already late.

While we passed through the front doors I swore I could see Jace's eyes lingering on me. I shrugged my shoulders and forgot about it just as quickly as I noticed it.


	2. Broken wings

Having so many art classes was the best thing that I could possibly imagine. I was running my hand over my new sketch. There was this angel, with his back turned at me, his wings wide opened. His feathers were falling, his hand was aging while his face, which was seen in the profile, was just as youthful as it can be. His long blond hair was brushing his neck where a rune I invented in my head was drawn. It was sad to see the pain he was suffering, but this is what happens when peoples sin are heard from above…angels are punished. Just like my brother was…Jonathan. He died two years ago, driving a friend home. He wasn't racing or anything but the other two cars in front of him were. Than there was the impact, the crush, the blood, the pain and death. I broke the pan I had in my hand.

\- Wow, what did that pan to do you?

I already knew who it belonged to. I could recognize that annoying voice everywhere. And it always came in the most inappropriate moments. Like this one, when I was mourning the brother I lost too soon. My only fragile moment. I took the sketch and put it in my backpack, planning on finishing it at home.

\- Can't you at least say something back?

\- I don't say anything because I have nothing to say, I answered bluntly.

\- -C'mon, what did I ever do to you to make you so angry with me?

I put my backpack on and looked him straight into his eyes. There was nothing for me to see. I felt no guilt for treating him like this.

\- Put it on the natural repulsion I have for blondes. You look just like one of them, I said while pointing to a group of giggling girls. But I'm sure they'd literally die if you talked to them.

I tried to leave but he slammed the door closed and pinned me to the wall. He said nothing, for a record, just stared into my eyes. I looked back at him, bored, waiting for him to finish. I was used to this kind of behavior coming from him. It was some kind of Twilight movie, him trying to be a dazzling Edward, trying to bewitch me with a glance and fast moves. But he was no vampire and I wasn't a fan of the fangs anyway.

-Are you done yet with the staring? If you haven't forgotten, I still have to attend your party tonight so if you could move out of my way it would be just great.

Of course that he didn't move at my request, he only got closer. His face was literally was inches from mine. I knew exactly what was going to happen next. He suddenly flinched away from me, clearly frustrated:

-How the hell it is not working on you? It works on everybody! What is wrong with you? Even your geeky friend likes me!

-Well, as much as I like hearing you questioning my friends sexuality, I have to go. See ya, blondie.

I left in hurry, knowing that Izzy was going to be mad for waiting for me so much. I was going straight to her place. She wanted me to pose as her Barbie doll again and I really didn't mind. She was in incredible stylist. Ii always looked great after she was done with me. Of course, once the clothes were changed, I shifted into something else, new, fresh, fun. Clothes really change people. I preferred the tamed Clary most of the time, but a huge party had no place for her. I already started to feel pumped, pushing the memory of Jace in the back of my mind. Izzy honked me, startling me for good. She gave the ,,Jace again,, look. I nodded and jumped in her convertible car. I blasted the music, ready to have fun.

After Izzy was done with me, I felt fabulous. I was wearing a pair of denim highwaisted short jeans with a black crop top and a denim jacket, with net stockings and black boots. My hair was made with wild curles while my make up was perfectly neat, showing off my best features: my green eyes. On the other hand, Izzy was wearing a tight navy blue dress with highheeld boots. She looked amazing, I could have never pull off that look. Her hair was up in a ponytail and she was wearing the biggest earring I've ever seen. She hurried me to the door. Oh, yeah, in her point of view, 8 o clock for a party was already one hour late, although all the parties are lame at the beginning. She assured me that Jace's partes wre never lame, not even a minute but I still rolled my eyes when I saw het trembling on the stairs.

-You are gonna break something if you won't pay attention to where you are stepping.

-Nah, I used to high heels. It is my natural form.

-You may be right somehow. Still, it won't kill you if you wore something comfortable at least once in your life.

She gave me a death look and I laughed. I knew she loved being uncomfortable.

-Why can't I bring Simon at this party?

-Because this is an invitation based party, and he does not have one! She explained me for the 10th time.

-But I don't have an invitation.

-Of course you have one! Somewhere thrown away in a trashcan… And even if you didn't have one, Jace is dying to have you at his parties. It wouldn't be a problem.

-Im still wondering why he wants me to come so badly. I mean, I am not popular or anything.

-Are you kidding me? Everybody likes you, you are invited to all of the parties and wanted in every social group but of course I am too selfish to share you so you are staying with only me… and Simon but that doesn't count cause he is a boy.

-if I am so much liked, why no other boy than Jace approaches me?

-Probably because you don't show any interest in any of them? And alose, jace would kill them.

-What do you mean?

-He is not used to not being liked back. Maybe if you at least tried to show him a little sympathy he would back down a bit. But you act around him like you have a stick up in your ass.

-Well, I am sorry for not liking a douchebag.

-Haha, yeah. Anyway, we are here.


	3. Unknown arms

Jace's mansion was huge. All the windows were wide open, music blasting through them. Colorful lights were everywhere and I could swear that I heard some water splashed, supposedly there was a pool. As I walked in, I was welcomed by madness. Everybody was laughing, dancing, playing games. And of course, there he was, above everybody else, the king ruling his empire, Jace Wayland. He was looking rather distressed. I hid myself before his eyes landed on the spot I just left. Izzy dragged me directly to the booze and I was more than happy to steal a cup or two. I was starting to feel the rhythm and when a group of girls dragged me to the dance floor I didn't pout. I was jumping around, having the time of my life when the music changed into something else. It was slow, sexy, the notes lingering on my body, making me feel hot in my clothes. I left my jacket on the floor and grabbed a random girl to dance with me. We were kind of showing off, touching each other more than we should have probably, but I didn't mind. And then I spotted a pair of eyes glued on me. I smirked and turned the girl so I was able to squeeze her body more into one. She ran her fingers through my hair and bit my earlobe while I was eying him. He laughed but still showed a lot of interest in my act. I swinged my shoulders in circular motion, slowly getting down and up on the poor girl that was used by me to prove something. When the song stopped, I simply peeked her on the lips and left to take some more booze. I was still running low on alcohol, pretty resistent at it. I took an unopened beer bottle and went to the terrace. The party moved inside after outside got chilly but the weather was perfect for me.

-Pretty dance right there, too bad the song was too short and the girl so uninteresting. She surely hope to get a piece of me with your help.

-I hope she does. At least I'll get you off of my back for a while.

-You are a completely mystery, Clarissa Fairchild.

-My name is Clary Fray.

-Somehow I manage to say all the wrong things, he sigh. When I am around you I am smooth no more. I am always stepping on eggshells and still say something that bothers you.

-This is not my problem. It is yours.

\- So harsh with a poor soul confessing its sins.

I laughed and looked down at him, who was sitting on a sofa. He was looking rather annoyed with himself.

-It seems that I bring you only frustration. Is it me the sin?

I sat next to him, but keeping the distance, not wanting to give him the wrong idea. He said nothing, only looked at the stars which were blinding that night. I looked at him. He was more interesting when he was frustrated with himself, somehow conflicted by the way I was reacting to him. Like an experiment gone wrong. But I couldn't pity a douchebag so I got up without feeling any guilt to leave him there alone. But what I didn't expect was him not stopping him. I looked back at him and crooked a smile. He stood up and got closer, looked deep into my eyes and went inside. I started feely chilly after he left so I went inside after him. The party was still booming. I finished quickly my beer and grabbed another, which brought another one on board and lead to a very drunk self. Everything became confusing for me. All the bodies, the music, the lights. I remember I stumbled and fell but right before I hit the ground someone caught me. I remember his fingers brushing my face, so unfamiliar. I felt the need to look at his face and his face was unfamiliar too. Full of concerns, he was whispering something in my ear. His arms around me felt so natural. I liked him being so close to me so when he put me into a bed, I pulled him on top of me and smashed my lips on his. He was smelling like mint and cigarettes, a bit of beer under his breath but was still loving it. Somewhere inside my head, there was the normal Clary yelling at the other one to stop, probably because I was going to regret it in the morning, but my body wasn't listening and after a while it just crawled into him.

Of course I couldn't stay for a long time in the same spot. Uninterested in my ,,mate,, I went downstairs just to meet an overly worried Izzy.

-Relaaax, I just had a make out session.

-Really? She said suddenly interested. With who?

-I don't know. Some random dude.

That was the moment when Izzys face fell.

\- That random dude?

I looked to where she was pointing to see an disoriented Jace searching the room for someone. His eyes stopped on me. He smirked and turn his back while another ,,bombshell,, came after him.

-Obviously not, I said. I think it I pretty clear that he will hook up with that one.

Izzy shrugged, approving me. She took me back to the dance floor, where I met some of my casual friends. When the clock hit 2 in the morning, the rest of the teens that were going to stay the night decided to play spin the bottle. I was already tired but I stayed to watch. Jace joined us too, sitting on purpose next to me. I rolled my eyes but I was too tired to argue with him so I played along. I leaned on him so we were staying back on the back. I could feel him tense and I just knew that he was smirking. While I was starting to question myself about when have I started to pay attention to Jace, the bottle pointed at me. The girl with who I danced before was looking rather bored to: -Truth or dare?,,

-Truth, I said through yawns.

-With who did you go upstairs to make out?

-How does everybody know about his tho? I laughed.

-You lipstick is smudged, like really bad, she laughed too.

-Oh, I see. Well, I would love to answear your question but I don't know. I haven't looked at his face. I was at the peek of my drunkness, let's say.

-So you really went and made out with some random dude? Jace asked nervously.

-Yeah. Kinda like you do, now I see it.

-This is not funny, Clary.

He stood up and left the game without saying any more words. Everybody was stunned, just like myself. I shrugged, signaling that I was just as confused as everybody else in the room. The game continued until everybody fell asleep on the floor or the armchairs. I was the last one awake so I got the empty bed upstairs. The mansion was huge so I had some problems in finding the bedroom. I saw a door opened and guessed that was the one. The room was dark, the curtains were covering the windows, not letting any light to come in. I unbuttoned my bra and threw it on the desk. After a small fight with my shoes I finally got under the warm covers. I was wasted. I rolled on a side and drifted asleep, without aknowledging the presence of another human being in the room.


	4. Differences

When I woke up the room was just as dark as when I fell asleep. I was sure that outside was a pretty sunny day, but damn, I have to ask Jace form where he got those curtain because I want some. A swift movement made me aknowledge that there was another person in the bed. I opened my eyes again, trying to figure out some lines. I saw the walls, clean and white, a closet which had its doors pen, showing a bunch of black clothes neatly arranged. I saw a dusty guitar forgotten in a corner and a bookshelf full of titles I know. Than it hit me. That wasn't the guest room. That meant I barge into Jace's room the other night. I slowly rised my head to see Jace.

-Fuck, I whispered under my breath.

I laid on my back, trying to think fast. What am I supposed to do now If I move to much, he will wake up and damn that will do me some trouble. I slowly moved my legs out of the bed. Silence. I moved my back a little bit. Silence. I grabbed my bra form the nighstand. Silence. I tried to stand up from the bed.

-Did you really that sharing my bed with another person is so unnoticeable?

I froze. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I slowly turned to face him, probably wearing the most stupid smile I had plastered on my face in my entire life.

-I must have mistaken the room. Never been here before, remember?

-It is weird how tonight you got by me by mistake all the time.

-What do you mean?

-Come sit by me. It's uncomfortable to speak this way.

I let my bra fall back on the floor and sat next to him, although I felt uncomfortable as hell. He was half naked after all. I felt like putting my bra on him so I wouldn't have to be distracted by him. He looked amused by me but for the first time, I felt like he had all the rights.

-Well, I am sorry that I barged in and carelessly disturbed your beauty sleep but I would really like to go now.

-Why? It is so early! And after all, it an all weekend party. The fun had just begun.

-I think I would prefer to go home. But I really had fun tho.

I tried to stand up but he already grabbed my wrist and dragged me back, only closer to him. I glared at him. I heard so many stories about his golden eyes, how magnificent they were but I would describe them more like yellow, reminding me of a wolf. I was not impressed but this picture. While I let my thoughts get the most of my conscience, Jace freed my wrist and started drawing circles on my arm.

-You look rather distressed. What are you thinking about?

I looked back at him, trying to recollect myself but I was again distracted by his face. It was pretty angular and sharp, his blond locks somehow repairing the harshness of his features. He was pale, glowing in the darkness like a ghost. It inspired fear. Suddenly, Jace drew the curtains letting the light change him completely.

-Clary? Are you ok? He said while getting closer to my face. I looked him straight in the eyes to see the golden eyes everybody was talking about. But that was not all. His skin didn't look ghostly anymore. It was like porcelain. His blonde hair embraced his figure perfectly and his features were perfectly cut. Like a statue, he was watching me losing it. He was somehow inspecting me to see if I was still there, so close that I could touch. I found it kinda funny, so I chuckled. He smiled softly and asked:

-You find it funny to stare at people in the morning?

-Sometimes.

He hugged me, which was unexpected. It was peaceful to be like this. But I was still amazed by how much inspiration he gave me in just one glimpse, so I was kind of generous.

-What do you want to do now, Clary? I don't mind staying like this but at least, you could hug me back so I won't feel pathetic.

I laughed hard at this one and after I hugged him back he joined me. Somehow he managed to get closer to my face than before, leaving a tension between us. I knew what he wanted but I simply couldn't give him what he wanted.

-C'mon Clary, give me what I want. It's not even that much, he said, his eyes praying to let him close at least once.

I was ready to say no when a brilliant thought crossed my mind. With my motto in my mind, I said:

-With one condition.

-Anything, he promised with anticipation.

-You have to pose for me.

-Like, naked? He chuckled.

-No, not naked. I have an idea and I need a model. You've got the features. That's it.

-It is fine with me. More times to hang out without needing to pin you to the wall.

I smiled and said nothing more. I would do anything for art and all I needed for my portofolio was a portret. But that was going to be like no other. Jace go closer, waiting for my permission. I leaned on him, slowly brushing my lips on his. When I tried to get closer tho, Jace cracked and pushed me away. I raised my eyebrows, questioning him.

-I changed my mind.

-Hey, you can't just change your mind in the middle of it!

\- Stay these two more days. I can drive you home and take what you need for the painting. But you stay here and you are not gonna get so drunk again, not going to kiss random boys. You can either sleep here, it doesn't bother me or go to the guest room. Just stay, you can keep Izzy around and even bring Simon.

I was stunned.


	5. Hate the guy

-Please, explain how Jace was able to convince you to stay the entire weekend and I couldn't? Izzy asked.

-He promised to pose for one of my paintings. I have got a great idea and I needed him to pose. Plus, he said that we can bring Simon along and you know how much he wants to come to these parties with us. He is always complaining that e is a stay at home nerd while we have so much fun.

-Still, what happened last night? I went to check you in the morning but you were nowhere to be found.

\- I slept in the wrong room.

-And what that does mean?

-It means that I slept in Jace's room…with Jace.

-Only slept?

-Yes. I didn't know he was there until I woke up.

-Maybe it is a sign.

-Yet, it is. I was way too drunk last night.

-And what about that make out session?

-Well that is still I mystery in my head but it's an unimportant detail. Do you want to take Alec along too?

-He is coming. He couldn't go yesterday but this morning when I called to tell him that we were taking Simon and stay for the weekend, he said he is gonna tug along.

-Perfect.

After a relatively short ride home and back, I found myself struggling with all the stuff I brought. While during day I could paint how much I wanted, I still wanted to party in the evenings so I had to take clothes and other stuff I needed. Izzy was in an even worse situation than me. Alec was looking rather unimpressed by our struggles, having a conversation with a frantic Simon:

-So what kind of dark rituals happen here? I heard something about girls stripping of their clothes and letting boys cut them?

-Mm, Simon, no. It is just a party with booze, games and dancing. Nobody gets hurt here, at least not on purpose.

-Oh, I see.

Izzy looked their way. She found amusing how Alec, one of the most wanted boys in the entire school, was crushing over a geeky boy. Simon was nevertheless clueless, although Clary knew that he identifies as a bisexual. Once all their stuff were settled upstairs, everybody went down to a late breakfast. Jace was making pancakes for everyone. A few blondes were watching his every move, giggling when he returned a look or a smile. Instead, I got my sketchbook and started doodling. I wasn't in the mood for a conversation. I was interrupted by Jace, who put a plate full of pancakes in front of me. I looked at his smiling face.

-Thanks.

He leaned closer to me so just us could hear each other.

-So, when do you want to start your project?

Whenever is ok for you. Although I cannot finish it in only a weekend, just so you know.

-I imagine. But that won't be a problem. I keep my promises.

-Glad to hear that.

-What are you two whispering about? One of the blondes almost yelled at us.

Jace was visibly pissed by the interruption and scowled at her:

-Won't you like to know, Aline I laughed.

Jace cracked and turned back to me.

-See ya upstairs after you finish your breakfast.

-Sure.

He left me alone with Izzy, Simon, Alec and Aline. Everybody was throwing questioning looks to me.

-What? I am an artist. Sometimes I need people. Is this so hard to comprehend?

Izzy shrugged, knowing exactly what I was talking about. I did so many things I didn't want just because I needed her or Alec to pose. Somehow it helped me climb the social ladder but it also never implied acting nice to people I despise. Letting Jace so close to me was a pain in the ass so I had another reason to finish the painting as soon as possible. I finished my breakfast, put the dishes in the sink and went upstairs. I found Jace in his room, waiting for me. The curtains were drawn open. I smiled and asked:

-Ready?

-Sure. What do I have to do.

I showed him where to stay and how to stay, informing that it was a pretty tedious job but very rewarding for me. He listened closely everytime I told him to move or change the position of his hands. After two hours or so I was done with the initial sketching.

-I think it is enough for today. Thank you.

-Can I see?

-Maybe when I am finished with it.

-Promise?

-Promise to think about it.

He laughed and came closer to me. I was trying to avoid any contact but this one was inevitable without making him angry with me. He put his arms around my waist and looked down at me. He seemed relaxed and happy with himself. On the other hand, I was clearly uncomfortable staying like that.

-Why are you so tense all the time?

-I don't know. Probably this is the way I am.

-Yesterday you weren't like this.

-What do you mean?

-Nothing.

He let me go and walked out on the balcony. I didn't know what I was supposed to do so I just quietly removed myself from the room. I was searching for Izzy. Everybody was downstairs watching cartoons and eating cereals. It was still early, nobody was ready to party yet. I sat next to Alec who started playing with my hair. I asked him if he could braid it and he was more than happy to do that. The living room started getting busy. When Aline called for Jace everybody shrugged their shoulders. I said that he was still probably in his room. She gave me a dirty look and asked:

-So you two are dating now or what?

Half of the room started laughing at her. Izzy was on the floor, Simon spilled his drink on himself, and Alec was holding his stomach.

-As that would be possible without a murder, Alec said.

-But you two stayed the entire day together! Aline said with frustration.

I just rolled my eyes and continued to play on my phone. Shortly after the conversation about me and Jace died, Jace came into the room receiving a lot of funny looks.

-What did I lose?

-A compatibility test, said Alec. Aline was wondering if you and Clary are dating now.

Jace laughed and sat next to me, watching Alec who was still trying to figure out how my hair works. I remained silent, his sudden closeness making me feel uncomfortable. I still hated the guy in a way or another and while I found him tolerable when he kept a fair distance, his habit of stepping into my personal space was annoying the hell out of me.

-The party starts in two-miximum three hours so I hope you get ready by then. Everybody go change while I finish what I have to do here. Clary, can I get your help a little bit?

-Sure. When everybody left I started cleaning up and helped Jace move the sofas next to the wall. He checked all the lights and turned on the disco globe. I arranged the food and made a pyramid from beer bottles which took a while. In an hour or so everything seemed ready. Jace kept the silence the entire time which was pretty comforting for me.

-Thanks. Like the pyramid. Creative.

-No problem.

-You should go change too.

-But what is wrong with these? I laughed while pointing to my pijamas.

He laughed too and took me up in his arms, than threw me on his shoulder.

-C'mon, you can't stay like this forever.

\- I wouldn't mind, I said while struggling to free myself.

He put me down and looked straight into my eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something.

-Tell me, I demanded.

-Mm, no, I think I will keep it for myself for a little bit longer.

-C'moon, I know that there is something you want to say. So just spill it out.

-Where would the fun be then? He laughed.

I rolled my eyes and pushed the door open. Izzy was showering so I was alone. Jace seemed to notice that too.

-I really wanted to do something for a while.

I only rised my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. Instead, he just shooked his head and left me confused in the room. Somehow, I started to dislike him even more.


	6. Fight your demons

Once the music blasted, everybody went downstairs, ready to pull through another long night. I was hanging around with Simon who was having the time of his life. He was wearing one of his gamer T-shirts with a pair of blue jeans and snickers. On the other hand, I chose to wear a navy blue summer dress with polka dots and a leather jacket on top. I had snickers on also, only to make a more casual look. I was watching how Jace was dancing with Aline. She looked like she was enjoying herself. Jace started the night strong, with a few shots and a lot of beers. I could tell that the alcohol was already getting to his head. But I couldn't be more pleased by the loss of his attention which made me uncomfortable for the first part of the day. I was enjoying my Coke when Alec and Izzy dragged me to the dance floor. We were all dancing in group on an old rock song, which I liked a lot. I eyed a black haired guy that was enjoying the view from the side. He had black eyes and very pale skin. He was gorgeous nonetheless. He caught my eye and smirked at me. I smiled invitingly and turned my head to see Alec hitting on an awkward Simon. He wasn't used to this kind of attention but it will do him good. I stopped dancing and went to the bar to take a beer. One will kill nobody. I took a sip and enjoyed the taste. The guy I spotted before came to me. I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to make a move:

-Nice moves.

-I know, right?

-I am Sebastian. You must be Clary.

-Yeah. You must be Jace's brother.

-Yeah, I am. Although we have no resemblance.

-Happens.

-Care to dance?

-Sure.

Sebastian took my hand and brought me back to the dance floor. It was easy to dance with him. Getting closer to him, I could sense the smell of expensive cologne. His hair was long and straight. I almost envied him for this. My curly hair always got in my way. Sebastian put an arm around my waist, bringing me closer. I could feel his breath on my neck. Still, I didn't feel any attraction, although he was stunningly attractive. Maybe I was a lesbian. At this thought I looked at Izzy who was dancing with a random guy. She was the image of beauty. Her long black hair brushing her back, her hips swinging on the rhythm. I shook my head, knowing that I was straight. Sadly somehow. Sebastian was trying to get my attention for a while, failing miserably. I looked in his eyes, losing it when I saw how demonic he looked in the darkness, so close to me. The song ended and I went back to the bar only to be accompanied by the one and only Jace.

-I see that you acquainted with my brother. Irresistible, right?

-I guess he is ok.

-I want to ask you something.

-What?

-Do you even like boys?

I laughed hard. His question just reminded about my earlier thoughts which was funny for me.

-Yes, I am into boys. A lot. But not into any kind of boys. Let's say I am very picky.

-Let's go take a walk.

-Mm, ok.

He gave me his arm which I denied simply. Wasn't really interested in physical interaction with him. He shrugged his shoulders but continued to walk. The air outside was refreshing. I breathed it in, letting it to fill my lungs.

-It is nice that you live here. You have quiet a view.

-I know. It is my safe place a lot of times. When I need to sort my thought I just go for a walk in the forest. There is an old path that leads to a cottage. I actually made it reasonable to live in for few days. Far away from everything and everybody.

-Still, you throw the biggest parties this town ever heard of.

-I like being around people most of the time. More to certain ones. But still, I am a social being. Which made me think how can you be so social and in the same time you can avoid all the stress that a social life implies.

-I just do it. It's a wonder for myself either, I laughed.

-I wish I knew why you are so reticent when it comes to me. Like, I really tried to not push your buttons for a long time and still I can't get the hang of you.

He looked at me with curious eyes, probably waiting for an answer.

-As I said before, I am a mystery even to myself.

I said nothing. We sat on the grass and looked at the dark blue sky. His arm was touching mine, which I think was intended.

-I think that you were with too many girls for my like. So I just lost interest over time until I reached this level of complete indifference.

-Auch, that hurt.

-It is the only truth I can think of.

-No girl really had me for more than one night.

-It is enough. You were owned too many times for a short time. Why would I want to be owned this way? Plus, I am not into this kind of things anyway.

-Last night you seemed to be.

-Why does it bother you so much?

-Well, it doesn't bother me at all. You were with me after all.

I froze. I knew that something was off today when I smelled his cigarettes scent. It seemed familiar.

-I was drunk.

-Yeah, I know. That hurt too.

-Can we never talk about this again?

-Why? You enjoyed it.

-If I enjoyed it so much I would have stayed.

-Why do you have to be so mean all the time?

-You know what Forget it. I am going back inside.

-No, you are not. Explain yourself.

-You have no say on me. I don't have to explain anything to you. As far as your concern goes, I am just another random hook up.

-And what if I don't want to classify you that way?

-That is not one of my problems. I just wanted to have that painting. Now let go.

-So everything you do is made in order to achieve something?

-I am an achiever what can I say?

-And I am just another achievement? Be careful, remember that your painting isn't done yet.

-Ooo, so now you are blackmailing me? We had a deal. I stay, you pose.

-Yeah, I pose as long as you stay here. But two days aren't enough for you to finish it, am I right? You will need me for a while so at least you could try making this time enjoyable.

-And what means enjoyable to you Making out and sex? Last time I checked, I wasn't a hooker.

-I never said that you were a hooker.

-But you intended to.

Suddenly, Jace cupped my face and kissed me. His lips crashed onto mine. First I was thrown aback by what happened, secondly I answered but after I realized what was actually happening I pushed away, or at least I tried. He was holding me with his both arms around me. I stopped moving, letting him do his thing. After a while he got bored.

-You answered.

-Make a stunt and go write it in you diary because it won't happen again.

-You are a bitch. I don't even know why I am losing my time with you.

-Here we go, Jace. Tell me more, show me what you've got.

-How could I possibly think that you were good enough for me when you are not even good enough for yourself? Look at you how you are blindingly dismissing every single opportunity to be happy.

-Oh, because you are the stairway to Heaven. Best option, the school's heartbreaker, the manwhore, the overachiever. This is your description of happiness?

-I tried to play nice but if you won't come around I will have to force you.

-How are you gonna make me come around? Kidnap me and waith for the Stockholm syndrome to develop?


	7. Brotherhood?

After our spar, I decided to go home. I was feeling funny and the party only made me feel worse. So I took the car and left. The painting was abandoned at Jace's place. When school came, Jace avoided me, acting like I didn't even exist. It wasn't really bothering me but it was weird how everything changed. Shortly after, he and Aline hooked up and that was a sight everybody hated seeing. I was walking in the parking lot when Sebastian interrupted my thoughts:

-Clary!

-Oh, hi Sebastian. What's up?

-Nothing much. Have you finished your classes for today/

-Yeah, why?

-I was wondering if you want to hang out?

-Yeah, sure.

Sebastian lead me to his car. He drove to a coffee shop that was relatively close to my house, Java Jones. I loved that shop. After ordering, we sat at a table in a corner to get some privacy.

-I heard about your fight with Jace. I am sorry, I know he can be a jerk sometimes.

-Oh, I don't really care about that. I never liked him anyway. Sorry for saying this but it is a relief that he got off of my back. He was annoying.

-I heard. I guess that he cannot handle rejection to well. Anyway, I could never see you with him anyway.

-Oh, and why that I asked curiously.

-Well, you are smart and you take this kind of things seriously. You are great in art, you have hobbies, you have real friends. You are living in the real world, you are human. On the other hand he likes to stay in this shallow part of the world where the only important things are your place on a social ladder.

-Yeah, I still don't know how I am not at the bottom of it.

-Well, maybe because you are impressing. This is you, without even trying. This is a thing I always admired about you.

-Aww, thanks.

-I heard your painting skills are amazing.

-I can show you sometime if you'd like.

-I'd love that. And I also heard that you need a model for one of your paintings.

-Yeah, somehow. I needed a model. Jace was supposed to help me with that but I got so angry with him that I don't even want to think about that anymore.

-I see. But if you ever change your mind I would really like to help you.

-I'll keep that in mind.

He smiled at me and I felt butterflies in my stomach. Sebastian wasn't like Jace at all. It was easy to talk to him, no pressure, no promises, no deals and no blackmailing. I was looking forward getting to know him better. He raised his eyes. His black eyes were intimidating nonetheless. His features weren't as fine as Jace's but still, the way he was looking at me made me sure that he was more serious. The fact that he didn't have a manwhore reputation was a big plus. But somehow, I knew that he was going to cause problems. I kissed his brother. Twice. How much I wanted to put those kisses on my drunken self, I simply couldn't forget the feeling of Jace's arms around me, of his fingers tracing small circles on my skin, the way his lips met mine, his smell of cigarettes and mint. At night, when I was letting my thought run wild, I remembered how he was eyeing me all the time. I had to accept that I was missing his attention in a way or another. Maybe because it became a custom for us: him pinning me to the wall, me rejecting him. I sight. Although I was having a nice conversation with Sebastian, I couldn't stop thinking about his brother. That was such a clique. Knowing that at home I had so many unfinished sketches of Jace, none of them good enough to make the cut. After a while I gave up only to find myself imagining it at its perfection in my head. It was already late and Sebastian drove me home.

-It was nice hanging out with you.

-I liked it too.

-I hope we can see each other again soon.

-Sure. Anytime.

-Promise?

-Pinky promise.

After that an awkward silence filled the car. Sebastian was literally staring at me, probably expecting me to do something but I wasn't ready for this yet. Once again, he was the one to break the silence.

-I know that you aren't a fan of relationships and dating in general but, Clary, you are a girl worth fighting for. And if you give me only one chance, I promise I will make the best of it.

I was stunned by what he said. He was serious and I still didn't know how serious I was about all the situation.

-Let's just see where it goes, ok?

-That's a good enough answer for me.

I leaned and kissed him on the cheek. I really didn't want to disappoint him after how nice he was to me. I left him in the car and went inside my house. My mother was watching TV with her boyfriend, Luke. I loved Luke. He was more like a father figure to me than my biological father ever was. After Valentine and my mother divorced he just vanished in thin air.

-Hi, mom, Luke!

-O, hello, Clary. I was wondering where have you been.

-Out with a friend.

-Simon?

-No. Sebastian.

-Sebastian?

-Yeah. Sebastian Lightwood.

-Isn't him jace's brother?

-Yeah. Why?

-He's older than your usual friends.

-Yeah, we met last weekend at the party and he wanted to hang out, grab a coffee. Nothing fancy.

-So Jace is already out of the picture?

-He was never much in the picture anyway. I went to his party only because Izzy dragged me there. I ain't a fan of his.

Jocelyn chuckled and looked at Luke, suggesting something I wasn't aware of. I just said good night and left to my room which, by the way, was still filled with sketches with Jace. I could see where my mom got the idea of me liking Jace. I collected all the pieces of paper and put them in a plastic bag. I made a mental note to throw them away in the morning. The next day was Friday and me and Simon had plans to go to the poetry reading at Java Jones. The list with the participant was long and the poetry was probably tedious but he wanted to go there for Alec. Izzy was going to be there too. Half of the school was coming only for Alec after all, whose poetry was good, as far as I heard. In a matter of minutes I drifted away, sleeping like a baby until the morning alarm got me back onto my feet.


	8. Mind block

Friday meant four art classes. Friday meant freedom. Friday meant the beginning of another fun weekend with Izzy and Simon, far away from the school drama I started to experience. And this Friday was a sunny one, thing that put me in a good mood. I put on a pair of black ripped jeans and a white shirt that had written on the front ,,please don't interrupt me when I ignore you,, and a black leather jacket. I put my combat boots and put a hat on my head and left. I was feeling rockfish that day. I drove to school and I arrived quickly. There were very few cars in the parking lot. I decided to go to the classroom and start a painting. That class had the best natural light. The sunlights were caressing my skin. I sat next to the window and prepared myself. I let my mind think freely, waiting for inspiration to struck. Slowly, the image of a half angel, half demon drew into my head. One side was showing him with his white feathery wing, looking calm and even smiling a bit. His golden locks were brushing his face, his golden eye sparkling. His skin was just like porcelain, glowing in the sunlights. The other side showed him with a grey, blackish burnt wing. His hand was burnt too. His eye was yellow and sad, his skin pale, looking dead. His clothes were ripped. I opened my eyes and knew that I was thinking about Jace again. Maybe I was obsessing over him so much just because I couldn't finish the painting. I was furious with myself for letting the sketch at his house. I tried to focus on something else when the door swung open. And there was him, standing in the doorway, looking rather distressed. He was holding something in his hand.

-I guess you need this.

He came to me and put the sketch on the aisle. I was speechless, I wasn't expecting him to ever talk to me.

-Mm, thanks, Jace.

He nodded and looked at me. There were no emotions in his eyes. He just stood there, silent.

-Jace, I am sorry for my outburst. I shouldn't have said all of those things.

I remembered how I started to throw at him all kind of words. I was so mean, it was like I wasn't even myself.

-You're right. You shouldn't have.

I bit my lips, not knowing what to say. Jace left a sigh and sat next to me, his arms crossed.

-I am sorry too. I may have pushed the limit a little bit too much.

-It's fine. Let's say that we are even.

He looked at me, trying to read my feelings. When he failed he looked down at his hands. I could feel the tension and the awkwardness setting between us.

-I still want to help you with the painting. I know it is important for you. Maybe I don't get how an artist works, but I know when something is important for them.

-Would you do that for me? I said surprised. He laughed and leaned closer.

-Yeah, you bet I will.

-Oh, I can't tank you enough!

I actually jumped from my seat and hugged him. I was excited to finally get over the mind block I had in head since I have got the angel-demon idea. He put his arms around me, also surprised that I was suddenly so warm to him. I pulled away and looked in his eyes. They were bright, just as golden as I remembered.

-So, when do we start?

-What do you think about now? ,,Models,, are excused for the classes and we get a private room where no one will stare.

-Sounds like a plan to me.

I smiled and took his hand to lead him to the classroom. When he squeezed my hand I realized what I was doing. I was too touchy with him. I made a mental note to remind myself that he wasn't Simon, who was used to this kind of behavior. The little room I chose was the perfect one for the drawing. The walls were painted in dark blue and the ceiling was decorated with phosphorescent stars. The windows had thick curtains so I could use them for when I needed to paint the second side of the painting. I gave Jace the indications and put myself in my place. The drawing came so easily now that he was in front of me. He stayed silent, slightly amused but how frantic I was. I finished the sketch and got the paint. I started with the eyes, which I thought was the most difficult part. After the bell rang for the last time of the day, I took my things and looked proudly at the painting. Jace came to see the result and looked at me quizzically.

-Why did you paint only half of me?

-Its not really you Jace, you are the model for my idea. I pointed out. And I painted only half of it because the other side is going to be darker. It's an alternation underlined by the shift of day and night, the change of light.

-You really thought a lot about it, right?

-A painting must express emotions through its visuals. It is not only an image of something reproduced, it's a story itself.

He stayed silent and looked at the painting a little bit closer.

-C'mon, he have to go. The school is closing soon and you don't want to stay here the entire weekend, believe me.

-I wouldn't mind if you kept me company.

-Nice try, Jace.

He left a sigh and left the room. I locked the door and took the key with me. I was allowed to that as long my painting was there.

-So, what now? Jace asked.

-I don't know. I guess I will go home. I have nothing better to do today anyway, so better rest a little bit.

-Let's hang out.

-Jace, I….

-I get it. It's fine. At least I tried.

I looked at him. Why he was still trying to get along with me after I clearly made my point. Then, I remembered how lately he was the only thing my mind kept thinking about. How I missed his attention at school, how I was so used to his presence that I took it for granted and how I couldn't get over the fact that she was with Aline. And how I hated seeing her hands on him. And how I reminiscence about the party, how he kissed me, how I woke up next to him. All of these and I was still refusing to hang out like normal teenagers. Of course that he forced his luck if I was hardly there.

-You know what? Let's go to Taki's.


	9. High hopes

I was eating my ice cream while Jace was telling me about some new band he was listening to. I was too cought up in my thoughts to actually pay attention. I was studying his lips. They were full and tempting, which made me unconsciously lick my lips. Jace laughed. I stared into his eyes, which had a spark. He was truly laughing. His eyes lingered on me. Then I realized how weird I was acting.

-Have you fallen for my charms already?

-As if. You have to try much harder.

Me and Jace were staying in a booth in the corner of the diner. He wanted to be just us, I wanted nobody to see me, so we agreed. Jace took ice cream on his finger and put it on my nose. I put icecream on the half of his face. He liked my cheek, I grabbed a napkin and stick it to his face. And now we were only staring at each other in silence. His hand was searching mine for a while, but I kept keeping it busy with something. He looked frustrated by that.

-So, what are your plans for this weekend?

-You know, just hanging out with Simon and Izzy. Simon wants me to help him craft his GeekCom costume, Izzy wants me to help her choose a color for her prom dress. Shopping. Yay.

-O, you are going to prom?

-Yeah, I am always going with Izzy. Poor her, she always has to give up on her dates for me.

-And why that?

-I don't do dating equals I don't have a date equals I don't go to prom if she is not also without a date.

-I am sure that you would never have a problem in finding one.

-Nope. But I just don't want to get their expectation high. I am not that evil.

-Oh, yes you are. I have really high expectations for you, Clary.

-What do you mean?

-Well, you accepted to go out with me. That's a first in your dating history.

-This is not a date. We are just hanging out.

Jace shrugged but his smirk was still plastered on his face as he knew better. I let it go, knowing that if he had some evil plans I won't find out until he decides so.

-Anyway, I heard you hang out with my brother.

-Oh, yeah, we went to grab a coffee after school. Why?

-After the heated kisses you shared you just go and hook up with my brother?

-God dammit, Jace. I didn't hook up with your brother. We just drank a coffee and talked. Literally just that. And after all, we only kissed twice and it wasn't even on good terms. It just happened.

-Just kissing? How quickly you dismiss our love.

-Love? Jace, please tell me you are kidding. When did love and Jace Wayland were ever in the same sentence?

Jace just stayed quiet in his sit, looking rather annoyed by the situation. I didn't know how to react or what was I supposed to do. I was too surprises to think clearly. I just stared at him. Then I realized that outside got dark. The lights in the diner were dimmer now, the music was jazzy and slow. Jace seemed to realize it too. He looked up at me. I was imagining how dumb I looked at the moment. Jace leaned closer to me. I could feel his breath on my skin. His arm found its way around my waist, pulling me even closer.

-Clary. I want to ask you something.

-Ok…

-Please, stop pushing me away. We can take it slow, small steps, just stop denying that you are attracted to me too. Please. Don't do this for me, do yourself a favor. If it doesn't work out, I will gladly back off knowing that at least I tried. But we have to try. I can't deny that it doesn't sit well with me either, but running away from it is just pointless.

-Jace. Please stop. I am not Aline. I can't be fooled.

-I am not trying to play you. Aline was just a remedy for my pain. You hurt me Clary. That night was awful. I couldn't stop thinking about what you said about me.

-Jace?

We looked up only to see an angry Aline.

-What do you think you are doing? I am your girlfriend as far as I remember.

-Aline, I can explain, Jace said while standin up.

I already felt betrayed. He was playing us both. Nothing that he said was true. Just words to make me fall in his trap. Only lies.

-You have nothing to worry about, Aline. We were doing nothing. I have no intention to steal your BOYFRIEND. We were just hanging out. You know I don't date.

-Oh, I see. But why was he staying so close to you, then?

-Ask him. Why were you staying so close to me, Jace?

Jace was trapped between two furious girls, waiting for an explanation. He was clearly at loss of words.

-I…

-You know what, Jace? I don't even need you. Take it as a break up. And Clary, I advice you not to WASTE your time with him. He is hopeless. He can't date. He wants you just because he can't have you. Make me proud Clary and don't fall for his little wicked games.

I saw that Aline was really hurt. Tears were swelling into her eyes. She looked like she was at the point of crying. I never knew that girls like her can actually get attached. But I guess Jace was a trophy in their world.

-C'mon, Aline. Let's go. I stood up and took her hand. As for you, I said while looking straight in his eyes, you can forget about it. Remember what you said and start thinking that maybe you are lying to yourself.

I turned my back and left, taking Aline along with me. We walked a while until she cracked and started crying her eyes out.

-I am so sorry, Aline. I didn't want you to get hurt. He was just helping me with a painting and we hang out. Nothing happened.

-I know, Clary, I know. But it is not that. He is always thinking about you. Do you think I am blind? Every time he sees he has his eyes glued on you, every time someone mentions your name, he is all ears. He stared at that unfinished painting countless times. I knew she wanted you. But I hoped he would accept me and respect me. Please, Clary, don't fall in his trap. I know we were never the best of friends but I would never want anybody feel like I am feeling right now. Never set your hopes so high.

-I won't, Aline, I never did.


	10. The first mortal instrument

I knew that Aline was right. I knew that Jace was keeping an eye on me. I knew that Jace desperately wanted me for some reason. And that reason was rubbing me the wrong way. Fromm al the girls, he chose to mess me up. What did I ever do wrong? I knew that I wasn't really true to the boys I talked to, but I never gave them hope. I always announced that I don't date because I simply find it useless. I will find someone … one day .. and we will just click. I was starting to wonder if Jace was that person. But after that, I remembered that there was a Sebastian who I never answered. Sebastian was a good guy. He was not making any promises, he was kind and somehow dorky, just as I was. I decided to send him a message.

 ***Hey** **J** **What's up?**

 ***Nothing much. Glad to hear from you. How have you been?**

 ***I've been better?**

 ***Jace?**

 ***I was caught in in his relationship drama. Don't even ask about it.**

 ***So what are you planning to do?**

 ***Nothing. It is not my business. I was a collateral victim. Really.**

 ***I believe you. What are you doing tomorrow?**

 ***I don't know yet. Do you have something in mind?**

 ***Yeah. Gonna pick you up at 12pm?**

 ***Perfect**

 ***Good night, Clary.**

 ***Nigh night.**

I plugged the charger into my phone and went to sleep to avoid any thought invading my mind. I was eager to get to know Sebastian better. Maybe I could start dating. Izzy will be more than happy to hear that I actually went out with a boy without putting him into friendzone instantly as I did with Simon two years ago. Poor guy. At least he understood. And I knew that Izzy has taken a toll in him. It was pretty unusual seeing their worlds collide, but it coul become something interesting. Opposite attract after all. That reminded me about the differences between me and Jace. I put the pillow on my face, trying to suffocate the thought about him. I was so done with all the drama he cause. I was better off. Sebastian. .

I woke up in the morning with a headache, which was not a good sign. I took a pill so it won't ruin my entire day. I didn't want to call off the date with Sebastian, if I could call that a date. It was only 10 am, so I had plenty of time ahead. I was lazy on Sundays. It was my sacred day, probably because of all the hangovers I got at the parties Izzy was dragging me to. My house was quiet. Jocelyn was busy with her new gallery. The business was hitting off and I couldn't be happier for her. It was her lifetime wish. Luke was gone to work too, but not for long. In weekend he had the shop open only until 1pm. I decided to take a cold shower to calm my headache which was bursting. I let the cold water embrace my body. I was already feeling better. I got out after about half an hour and chose to wear a pair of blue jeans with a hoodie. I looked in the mirror and I couldn't believe my eyes how inappropriate I looked for the occasion. I left a sigh and changed into a pair of highwaisted white jeans and a black shirt. I put my favorite highheeled black boots and put my hair up in a fancy ponytail, letting two string of my hair curl around my face. I even struggled to put on eyeliner and mascara. I felt uncomfortable being so showy but I had to get out of my comfort zone once in a while. I had half an hour to waste. I got my sketchbook and let my mind wonder again. My hand was drawing by itself. I took a look only to see Jace's face staring back at me from the paper. His eyes were wide and sad, his face full of emotion. Then I remembered how he changed when Aline caught us at the diner. I was so angry with myself. I ripped the drawing and put the crumpled pieces in my backpocket, intending to throw it. Suddenly, my phone buzzed.

 ***I'm here.**

 ***Coming in a sec.**

I took my bag and rushed downstairs. Sebastian was waiting for me outside his car, which was by the way amazing. It was a black Cadillac. So fancy. He looked stunned to see me so dressed up, thing that made me blush. I was surprised by my reaction. I never blushed before. What was wrong with me.

-You look stunning, Clary!

-Thank you. I like your car. I said, knowing that he'll get the joke. Instead, he looked confused. I was joking.

-Oh, ok.

He looked rather embarrassed with himself but I put it on the back of how mesmerized he was by my choice of clothes. I went in the front sit. There was an awkward silence between us. The date didn't start very well, me ending up embarrassing him with a joke. I made a mental note not to compliment his possession again, at least not for a while.

-So, I was thinking, how does Taki's sound?

-I'd rather not. I was thinking that Jade's and Pandemonium after?

-Oh, great. I love that club.

His eyes lit up, letting me know that I made the right move. We arrived quickly at our destination. We were seated in the open area which wasn't something I like but I just went with it. We ate a cheesecake together and talked a while about school. He told me some gossip I skipped while living in my own drama.

-Soo, you and Jace?

-What? Oh, hell no.

-Well, you've been pretty caught up with each other lately.

-Only because of the circumstances. He took advantage of them.

-So you aren't dating him or something?

-As far as I know, I hate his guts.

-Careful, hate is a very powerful feeling.

-As far as I know, hate is a mortal instrument. I couldn't say more about the topic. It is really nothing. I am not that stupid to get involved with someone like Jace.

-Why not?

-Because he is a player. What I want from some significant other is him to understand me, to care for me, to share everything with me. I want to feel that we are inseparable and that our lives depend on each other. I am not a fan of silly hook ups, even though I get drunk sometimes and share a kiss or something.

Sebastian was smiling widely at me. I knew that I just made his day. Shortly after, we took off to Pandemonium. The party was already booming and I was eager to show my moves. I was having a pretty good time. Sebastian ordered some drinks for us to warm up. I smelled the liquors and than drank it with a sip. I didn't want to get too dizzy though. A first date should go slow, right? Sebastian took to the dance floor, proving that he was an excellent dancer. I put my hand over my head and let my body control every fiber. I was drunk with the music, the colors, the people. Everything was perfect. Until Sebastian kissed me. It felt so wrong, so disgusting, just like I was betraying myself. His hands ran over my body, leaving cold shivers on my back and arms. He pulled me closer. I was looking straight at his face. He had his eyes close so he couldn't tell. I didn't know what to do so I panicked and pushed him away. At first, he looked confused, than hurt.

-I knew it, he yelled at me! You are into Jace! You are just like him, using people to get what you want than push them away. I don't ever want to see you again, Clary!

He left me in the middle of the dance floor. I couldn't believe my ears. He thought that I was like Jace only because kissing him felt wrong? I went outside, searching for him when I bumped into Aline.

-Can you just stop getting all the guys I like? Wasn't Jace enough so you needed a gangbang with his brother? You are such a slut, Clarissa Fairchild , and you know it! Saint Clarissa!

-What How was I supposed to know that you were into Sebastian? And I never said I was a saint! And I didn't kiss him, he kissed me. Everything was just fine until he decided to make put with my face without even giving me a warning!

-You are such a moron. I am wondering if this ignorance of your makes guys so attracted to you. Just stop. Figure yourself out before hurting anybody else, Clary. You know that you are doing him wrong and he doesn't deserve that.

With that, Aline left me standing alone in front of the club, wondering how was I wrong for. For having a night out? For hanging out with a guy? For going clubbing with Jace's brother? For my ignorance? That was it. I refused to see the problem, choosing to get along with the course of life without closing the circle. So I started running. And I ran until I got home, took my car and drove all the way to te big mansion. I knocked at the door frantically. Shortly after I was honored with Jace's presence. He was confused and I didn't blame him. So I just jumped on him and kissed him. Hard. Passionately. With desire. With lust. He didn't respond at first, thing that didn't stop me. But after he realized what was happening he closed his arms around me, lifted me up and took into his house. It looked like he was alone. Perfect. If to put my life in order meant to let Jace inside it, I was ready to do just that.


	11. Note

****Hey, guys. Yep, here I am with another note just to let you know that the story has 3 parts and I just finished the first one. I will continue with it as soon as I put my ideas in an order, which will be probably tomorrow ;) Anyway, I wanted to ask for your support and your opinions which are very important for me. I would love to read your reviews and hear what you would like to see in this story or maybe even in an upcoming one. See ya soon with the first chapter of the second part. :***


	12. Too afraid

I was laying beside Jace, still asking myself how can life change so easily. After he recovered from his surprise, Jace answered quickly to my heated kisses. He asked nothing. I guess he only wanted to get me while I was in my good mood. And he did a good job to improve that. He was amazing in bed, for a record. I was waiting for him to say something, to ask me anything. I looked at him. He was laying with his eyes closed, breathing the moment in. His face was peaceful. His golden lock were spreading on the pillow. I got closer to him. He opened his eyes slowly and and drank my image. He looked so innocent in that moment that I could not help and smiled.

-Your smile is my favorite thing in the world, he said while stroking my cheek.

-Since when? I jokingly asked him.

-Since I first saw you. I was just too afraid that you were going to turn me down, as you did so many times. I still don't know what made you change your mind. And I am scared that after all of these, you are just going to disappear.

-I won't, I said simply.

He pulled me closer and stared deeply into my eyes.

-Please, tell me what changed your mid so drastically.

-I would tell you if I knew. It just happened. I wanted to see you. So I came to see you.

-tell me you thought about me just as much as I thought about you.

-I can't. It would ruin the mystery.

Jace chuckled and kissed me again, and again and again. I pulled him closer, breathing his smell in. I started to love the cigar scent he was leaving on my skin, the mint on his lips. I stopped myself. I couldn't let myself fall for him that bad. I could still enjoy him, his entire body on mine, his passion for me. Yeah, I could enjoy all of those but the only thing I must keep in mind was to not let myself slip. I just couldn't. Jace sensed my change of mood and asked in a soft voice:

-What's wrong?

-Nothing. Just thinking.

-About us?

I left a sigh, knowing that the conversation was going to be tough to handle. Jace saw my hesitation and asked again:

-There is an us, right?

-I don't know. It seems…complicated. Is still have to figure this out. Everything happened so quickly. And so sudden that I don't even know how to react.

-Its ok, Clary. I can give you time. I waited for so long for you to finally see me that I can't run out of patience right now.

When I heard what he said, I felt my stomach stumble. He actually have me time, thing that I wasn't expecting. What I was expecting was him to get annoyed with me, yell and kick me out. I leaned closer and pecked his lips. I wish I knew what he was thinking, but as always, supernatural is out of my league.

** **Sorry for this short chapter but I will come back with a longer one. From now on, the story will be from Jace's POV. So see ya soon :***


	13. Messed up

**Jace's POV**

I was hurt. Completely. I got my hopes so high that she finally fell for me. But no, she still has to figure herself out. That bet was killing me. Yeah, I made a bet with Sebastian that I'll made Clary, the girl who utterly hates me, to love me. But after all, it wasn't as easy as I thought. And I had to do so many sacrifices for this stupid bet. I had to break up with Aline, who was pretty nice, I kinda liked her. And after all I had to get through, this little read head was staying in my arms, in my bed, telling me that she still doesn't know what she wants. I knew that Sebastian went out with her. I actually worried a little bit but I could see that she was already caught in my web when he decided to make a move on her. Ha, as if I could ever fail. If only it wasn't such a tedious preoccupation, her always running away from me, never knowing what she wants. I looked at her, she fell asleep. She looked so naïve and innocent when she was sleeping. I cannot say that I didn't enjoy her, but it doesn't matter. She will hate me anyway when all of this ends. I felt an ache in my heart that should have not been there. I left a sigh. Lately, the bet started to go against me. I was slowly and irremediably falling for her. I knew that that was forbidden. If Sebastian would find out my little secret there will be disaster. First, he is going to tell Clary everything about the bet. Secondly, he is gonna destroy my reputation. I don't fall in love, for God's sake. Somehow I knew that I will end up hurt. The whole situation was so messed up. I was almost thrilled when she told me that she doesn't want to make anything official so I would have time to figure myself out too. I was too confused by what was happening and afraid nevertheless. Clary shifted in her sleep, snuggling closer to me. I couldn't help but smile. It felt so right, but it was so wrong. I tried to get some sleep but my thoughts were continuously drifting to Clary. Her curly red hair, her bright green eyes, just like to emeralds, watching me as I am lost in my thoughts…

-Jace? Are you ok?

-Mm, yeah. Just thinking.

-About…?

-About how will it be. How we will be.

-We will be just fine, she assured me.

I stroked her cheek, loving the feeling of her soft skin. She had freckles on her nose. She was adorable. I was so conscious that she will be the death of me. I was not allowed to fall for me. It should have never happened. If she knew, she would hate me again, maybe even more passionately. And the worst part was that I couldn't do anything about it. Sebastian would do anything to destroy me. He is evil. If only I knew what he wanted so eagerly, what I had and he didn't. But it couldn't be that easy, right? It always had to be a complicated soap opera. Just like my mom liked.

-How comes that you always have the house to yourself? Clary asked.

Of course she noticed. She was so perceptive. She came here only a few times.

-My parents have to move a lot with their job but decided to let me and Sebastian live on our own so we will have a relatively normal teenage life. They come home rarely so I don't see them too much.

-Doesn't it get lonely?

-Sometimes. I try to compensate but somehow it never works. I learnt to accept loneliness. It's not even that bad.

-I couldn't imagine being a teenager without my mom always bugging me about everything.

-Some people are luckier than others.

-Do you love your life?

I looked down at her and wondered for a moment.

-Not always. But sometimes, time like this one, I do love it. It's like I am recharging my batteries.

She said nothing, looking rather troubled by my statement. I started to thing that I was too cheesy for her taste, and maybe that made her question herself. I almost could her the questions wondering in her brain: _What does he want from me? Should I keep going like this? Is this what I want Is he my type?_ It was painful to think like this but I had to accept the fact that I was possibly creeping the hell out of her. But how she think like that when she was looking straight at me with her big eyes, studying me, seeing art in me. Art, her entire soul, in me, someone that got to her through a bet she doesn't even know about. I knew that I will have to tell her sometime, and that that time was closer and closer.

-Jace, something is bothering you. I can see it. You keep dozing off.

-It's nothing. Just that, I want you to know that this is just as new for me as It is for you. It's so complicated and I really wish it was easier. I am only confused. I need to clear my head. I have to smoke.

I stood up and went to the balcony. I wasn't a regular smoker. But all the situation made me so stressed out that I got addicted to the small dozes of nicotine. I closed the door behind me so the smoke won't go inside. Outside was chilly. I lit the cigarette and breathed the smoke in. As it filled my lungs, I could feel how all my muscles relaxed, my head cleared. But still, the worry and the pain in my heart stayed there, like a tattoo a lover regrets after an ugly break up. I was sure I will never forget Clary. Just as sure that I will completely lose her once the truth comes out. I could try to push her away, but it was too late for both of us. What can somebody do when it's already too late? Nothing. I just had to deal with it and suffer the consequence.

I was interrupted from my thought when the door opened. I turned to see Clary, shyly staying by the door, her eyes asking if it was ok.

-C'mon. It's a wonderful night. It's full moon again.

-I can's top envying you for what a view you have here. Everytime you wake up, you see this. All I see in the morning are cars.

-You can come here whenever you want. It would be nice to have people here once in a while. People that are not drunk or high.

Clary laughed. She knew. She knew that you can have an entire army of ,,friends,, and admires and still be alone. She knew that although I was always in the middle of everything, I was far gone in another world. She understood me. She never complained about that. Then, everything came back to me. The times when I was pinning her to the walls, trying to appear charming. The times I yelled at her only because I was frustrated that she wasn't showing any interest in me. I was a complete jerk. And still, here she was, seeing in me something that even I am unable to see. I couldn't stop but admire her. She was courageous. She kept silent, admiring the sky with me. I was wondering what was going through her pretty head but I guess, I will never know. I was going to mess this up so badly. And I couldn't even do something about it.


	14. Weak bonds

Early in the morning, Clary left because her mother needed her help with some arrangements for her gallery. After she pecked my lips she stormed out of the house in hurry. Alone, I tried to make some plans for the day but apparently I wasn't in the mood. I went to the kitchen where Sebastian was making some breakfast.

-Morning, I said.

-Good morning, loverboy. I see that you have won the bet. I don't know what I did to her last night to make her run back into your arms but at least this game is over. It lasted for ages! Ready for a new one?

-Not yet. She didn't want to make anything official.

-Oh, I see. And why that? Have your charms failed you?

-I don't know the reason why but what I know is that it has nothing to do with my charms.

-When are you planning to dump her?

-The thing is that I don't plan to do that.

-Oh, is my little brother falling in love with the little redhead? You know that you are not allowed to do that.

-I'm sick of that rule. We are not our parents. We don't make the same mistakes.

-It's not something our parents made up. It's a general truth. To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be destroyed.

-How do you know there are no exceptions?

-Let me be frank with you. I love Aline. I loved her since I first met her at one of your stupid ''social gatherings''. But you were with her and everything she saw was you. So I proposed this bet so you'll concentrate more on Clary, the girl that despised you the most. I knew it would take time to get to her. While you were chasing Clary, aline was breaking. And now that you broke up with her, she is a mess. Don't you see it? I loved her and I destroyed her. Now that you want Clary for yourself, that you even might fall for her, you are going to destroy her. This is the natural course. If you won't tell her, I will.

-Why? Why are you so angry with me?

-Because you have everything I ever wanted.

-Do you think I enjoy this continuous attention?

-I don't care. As long there is this little thing you desire and as long I can do something to destroy it for you, I will do it, brother.

-I did nothing wrong to you! You can take Aline. If you told me earlier, I would have stopped seeing her sooner. It's you that makes things so complicated.

-Aline would never want me as she wanted you. I remind her of you. Everytime she looks at me, she sees you, although we are complete opposites.

-And how is that my fault?

-Although involuntary, it remains your fault. And you'll pay for it.

-You are mad.

-Maybe.

I left the room, knowing that all the persuasion in the world would do nothing to change his mind. I didn't know why he thought that the situation with Aline was my fault. I can't read minds. I regretted that me and Sebastian didn't have a strong bond, as he was the only close relative I had. My parents wouldn't count, as they were only episodic characters in my life. I had to figure it out. I had to ask someone for advice. But I didn't have any real friends. Than I remembered Alec. Yeah, he would know what to do. He's gay after all, he should know better, right? I dialled his number and after a few rings he answered:

-Hi, Jace! What's up, man, I haven't heard from you for ages!

-Mm, yeah, hi. I know, sorry, I was troubled.

-Are you ok, now?

-Actually, I need some help from me. Can we meet up?

-I have a date with Simon tonight but maybe tomorrow if it's alright with you?

-Simon? Like, Clary's friend?

-Yeah, I've been staying on the fence lately so I guessed I might give it a try.

-Oh, great for you! And yeah, tomorrow is good.

-Perfect! Give me the details later.

-Ok, see ya and good luck at your date.

-Thanks.

He hang up. I was amazed how many things were happening outside my dramatic bubble. I took a mental note to keep in touch with my friends once in a while so I won't get completely isolated if things turn worse than they already are. I looked at the clock. It was still very early. A long day with nothing to do. Great.

Hi guys! I wrote this chapter on the phone so I could keep the story updated and damn was it a tedious job. But anyway, here we are with the next chapter. Enjoy:*


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